The answer? Trickery. And here’s how you do it.
Step 1: Sell it as reality TV, but better
Your family loves drama. They’ve devoured every season of whatever new survival-based cooking show is trending, so why not introduce them to the true reality TV of the cycling world? The Spring Classics are an unscripted masterpiece—crashes, betrayals, heartbreak, and the occasional unexpected victory by some plucky underdog from a Pro Continental team. Sell Paris-Roubaix as the ‘Survivor’ of cycling, but with less backstabbing and more punctures.
Step 2: Find their emotional hook
Everyone loves a good underdog story. Instead of bombarding them with the watts-per-kilogram calculations of Tadej Pogačar, find a compelling narrative. Talk about Mathieu van der Poel’s cycling dynasty, the sheer insanity of Wout van Aert’s multitasking between road, cyclocross, and probably fighting crime on weekends, or how cobbles chew up even the strongest riders and spit them out in tears.
Step 3: The food angle
Want your family invested in the Ronde van Vlaanderen? Introduce them to Belgian waffles and frites with mayo beforehand. Watching Paris-Roubaix? A hearty French spread of baguettes, cheese, and a sneaky post-race beer will keep them engaged. It’s all about Pavlovian conditioning—if they associate the race with delicious food, they’ll want to watch again.
Step 4: Gamify it
Casually introduce a family competition. Who can predict the first crash? Who will be the first rider to throw their bike in frustration? Bet small stakes—winner picks the next family movie, loser has to wash the bikes (or dishes). Suddenly, everyone is invested in whether Jasper Stuyven will outsprint a bunch of shattered rivals.
Step 5: Highlight the carnage
If they’re not yet into cycling, they probably won’t appreciate the subtle tactics of a well-timed attack. But you know what they will appreciate? The sheer insanity of watching riders bounce off cobbles, ride through farm tracks, and still have the audacity to attack after five hours of suffering. Show them highlights of the worst weather editions of the Classics—mud-caked faces, frozen fingers, and the occasional rider using a bike as a blunt weapon to settle a dispute. Now that’s entertainment!
Step 6: Sneak in the hero worship
If your kids have posters of footballers or pop stars, swap one out for a cycling legend and see if they notice. Casually mention that these riders are burning 5,000 calories per race and still have legs that look sculpted by Michelangelo. Cyclists are gladiators in Lycra, and it’s only a matter of time before your family starts respecting their superhuman efforts.
Step 7: Subtle exposure therapy
The key is consistency. Start by having the races on in the background. Then, gradually get them to watch the final 10km. Eventually, they’ll be invested enough to argue about whether Alpecin-Deceuninck or Visma | Lease a Bike played their cards right in the breakaway. Once they start saying things like, “He went too early!”—congratulations, you’ve won.
You can do it!
Cycling is an acquired taste, like espresso or fine cheese. But with a bit of patience, some light deception, and the promise of good snacks, you can slowly indoctrinate your family into the world of Spring Classics fandom. And before you know it, they’ll be asking when the next race is—right before they suggest a family ride “just to see what it’s like.” Mission accomplished.
