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7 Best Cycling Jokes

By We Love Cycling

Good cycling jokes are always welcome, and these seven are our favourites. If you think the list is missing some, make sure to share them with us in the comments!

Nerdy cycling

Two nerds are riding along on a tandem bicycle when, suddenly, the one in the front slams the brakes, gets off and starts letting air out of the tyres.
The one in the back yells out, “Hey! Why are you doing that?!”
The first nerd says, “My seat was too high and was hurting my butt. I wanted to lower it a bit.”
So the one in the back has had enough. He jumps off, loosens his own seat and spins it round to face the other direction.
Now it’s the first guy’s turn to wonder what’s going on. “What are you doing?” he asks his friend.
“Look, mate,” says the rider in the back, “if you’re going to do stupid stuff like that, I’m going home!!”

Hard climb

Jack and Jill have just climbed a steep hill on their tandem.
“Phew, that was a tough climb,” said Jill, leaning over, breathing hard. “That climb was so hard, and we were going so slow, I thought we were never going to make it.”
“Yeah, good thing I kept the brakes on,” said Jack, “or we’d have slid all the way back down!”

The answer

“I’ve really had it with my dog,” says a guy to his neighbour. “He’ll chase anyone on a bicycle.”
“Hmmm, that is a problem,” says the neighbour. “What are you going to do about it?”
“Guess the only answer is to confiscate his bike!”

The lucky one

A pedestrian steps off the curb and into the road without looking and promptly gets knocked flat by a passing cyclist.
“You were really lucky there,” says the cyclist.
“What on earth are you talking about! That really hurt!” says the pedestrian, still on the pavement, rubbing his head.
The cyclist replies, “Well, usually I drive a bus!”

Saving the marriage

Since things turned sour with my wife a fortnight ago, I’ve taken to riding 50 miles a day to clear my head. I’m now 700 miles from home and feeling much happier.

The price to pay

A cyclist lying on his deathbed asked his best friend to do him a favour when he’d gone. “Anything,” replied his friend.
“Just don’t let my wife sell my bikes for what I told her I paid for them,” he begged.

The godly one

A vicar was stopped by the police at night for not having a back light.
The vicar says, “I don’t need a back light, the Lord is with me.”
The policeman says, “Two on a bike as well, that’s another offence.”