The first ride: Modern courtship on two wheels
Forget flowers—bring chain lube. The first ride together is like a first date and a mechanical check rolled into one. Do they wait at the top of climbs or attack you when you’re reaching for a gel? Do they compliment your pedal stroke or question your saddle height? These are your red flags and green lights.
Strava or suffering?
You know it’s serious when they share their private Strava rides with you. But be warned: if every ride ends with “I didn’t push, that was just endurance pace,” you may be dating a liar—or worse, a time trialist.
Also, if they name a ride after your date (e.g. “Cruising with Cutie 😍”), proceed with caution. If it’s titled “Zone 2 slog ft. traffic & drama,” well… you’re the drama.
Sock length compatibility
No one talks about it, but it’s crucial. You can weather different political beliefs, but if you’re in Team Long Sock and they wear ankle bib blasphemy, can it ever truly work?
Also: if they refer to anything under 28mm tyres as “death wish rubber,” marry them.
Communication breakdown? Check the radios
Arguments are inevitable. But healthy cycling couples communicate like pros. “I’m bonking” isn’t an insult, it’s a cry for help. “You’re on the wrong gear” might sound like criticism, but it’s love. Probably.
The meet-the-crew group ride
Bringing your date to the Sunday group ride is like introducing them to your parents, only sweatier. Do they hold a steady line? Take equal pulls? Refrain from half-wheeling your mentor Dave? If yes, congratulations. They’ve passed the test. Dave approves.
When things get serious: Tandem territory
You know it’s true love when you ride a tandem—and still speak afterward. Bonus points if you switch captain and stoker roles without passive-aggressively blaming each other for every missed light and wrong turn.
Love isn’t about watts
At the end of the day, you’re not looking for the fastest wheel. You’re looking for someone who brings snacks, shares chamois cream, and doesn’t judge your pre-ride rituals. Someone who waits when your chain drops and knows the true meaning of a coffee stop.
So, is it love? Or just a well-matched FTP? Either way, may your hearts—and your tyres—never go flat.
