1. How many people are doing what I am doing right now – watching the Tour during working hours?
2. Do they eat at all?
3. Is anyone still enjoying it or are they only racing for the money?
4. If I had a bike like this, would I be this fast too?
5. How much does that yellow-jersey guy weigh anyway?
6. Where’s that nice, long-haired, funny guy who’s been in the lead the whole time?
7. How come their average speed is 40 km/h – riding uphill?
8. How long would it take me to finish that stage?
9. Theoretically, if I found myself in the middle of the peloton – mind you, this is a hypothetical question! – would I be able to keep up with them for at least five minutes?
10. So they really don’t take dope anymore?
11. Why don’t women race too?
12. How heavy are those bikes of theirs?
13. Where’s this year’s theory about hidden electric motors?
14. How could they ride without helmets back in the early days?
15. Why is the yellow jersey yellow anyway?
16. How long do racers usually live?
17. Do they still pee while riding?
18. Should I get back to work now for a while?