But fear not, itchy-eyed warriors of the saddle. We may be fighting a microscopic enemy with nothing but antihistamines and hope, but we can survive the season—and even look good doing it (sort of).
1. Gear up like you’re entering a biohazard zone
A good pair of wraparound sunglasses won’t just block UV rays—they’ll also deflect rogue pollen projectiles trying to hijack your tear ducts. Pair that with a buff or face mask and voilà: you’re not just a cyclist, you’re a pollen-fighting ninja. Bonus: you’ll scare fewer squirrels by sneezing directly in their direction.
2. Choose routes with more asphalt, less botany
That scenic forest path may look like a postcard, but it’s essentially the Amazon rainforest of allergens. Stick to urban routes where the only thing blooming is your self-confidence. Or, if you’re feeling brave, map your ride to include stops at allergen-safe havens, also known as “indoor cafés with strong air conditioning and better coffee than you deserve in a cycling kit.”
3. Time your ride like a vampire avoiding the sun
Pollen counts peak in the morning and early evening. That’s science. So unless you enjoy coughing up a lung while trying to look cool passing other cyclists, aim for midday rides. Sure, it’s hotter—but better sweat than snot.
4. Don’t trust nature. She’s pretty, but she’s a liar.
That field of flowers? Trap. That gentle breeze? It’s just pollen delivery at Mach 3. That adorable dog frolicking through the grass? Walking pollen mop. Treat spring like an ex: beautiful from a distance, dangerous up close.
5. Medicate responsibly (and not mid-ride)
Talk to your doctor, obviously. But the general rule is: non-drowsy antihistamines are your new best friend. Do not pop one of those old-school sleepy ones unless you want to wake up cuddling your bike in a ditch, wondering why you thought riding through a field of dandelions was romantic.
6. Embrace the snot rocket – just aim away from friends
Let’s be real: when nature weaponises your nostrils, you need countermeasures. The snot rocket is both an art and a science. Master the flick. Warn your riding buddies. And always, always check the wind direction.
7. Post-ride hygiene: don’t bring the pollen home
After your ride, strip down like you’ve just returned from a radioactive wasteland. Wash your clothes immediately, shower like you’re in a decontamination scene from a sci-fi movie, and consider a nasal rinse if you’re truly committed to victory (or just like torturing yourself).
Pollen is temporary, Strava is forever
Will you suffer? Yes. Will you question your life choices halfway through a sneeze at 30 km/h? Also yes. But will you stop cycling just because nature decided to season the air like a giant spice rack? Absolutely not. Pedal through the pollen, embrace the chaos, and remember—summer’s only a few sniffles away.
