For those of you who know I’m right, you must remember Detective Roger Murtaugh. He is a character from the legendary Lethal Weapon movies, played by Danny Glover. Murtaugh took his rightful place in cinema history with one of the most iconic catchphrases of all time: “I’m too old for this…” stuff. Yeah, he definitely said stuff.
During the first instalment of the movie, Murtaugh was only 41. And since I’m getting closer to that unenvious age, I catch myself thinking the same thing more and more. I’m too old for this… stuff? Yeah, let’s stick with stuff. So, this is how my Murtaugh list has been born.
Jumping big jumps
At a certain age, you no longer “send it”. You analyse it. You stare at the jump, checking angles, distances, and possible hospital stays, before deciding, “Eh, maybe another day.”
Your younger self could get away with hurling their body off a massive kicker and figuring it out mid-air. But physics does not care about your past glories. Land slightly wrong, and your knees – those fragile relics of past crashes – will remind you why you no longer play football.
Unfortunately, with age, your bone density declines. Connective tissues lose elasticity, and reaction time is much slower. In short: you’re old, and your body knows it.
So, stick to smaller jumps. You will lose those in another 10-15 years, so enjoy them while you can. But hucking off cliffs like you’re auditioning for Red Bull Rampage… That ship has sailed, and honestly, it’s for the best.
Blindly hitting a new track hard
There was a time when charging into an unfamiliar trail at full speed was considered an adventure. Now, it’s called a poor life decision. Rolling into a new track with reckless abandon was fun when your body still had shock absorption capabilities. But at some point, your ligaments started having serious discussions with gravity, and the results have not been promising.
Even professional riders do recon laps. There’s a reason for that: the unknown is not your friend. Except if you’re a Viking and you sincerely believe you have a seat at Odin’s table in Valhalla. Still, you should consider that riding blind at full speed means you are one sharp turn away from passionately hugging a large tree at a velocity reserved for astronauts. And if you’re wondering who will win this encounter, well, you can ask Odin when you see him later.
So, take a warm-up lap even if that means you must make a second 1-hour climb. It’s always better to be able to do a second climb after the first descent.
Following just anyone down the trail
Don’t succumb to peer pressure. You’re not 12. If you are, this list is definitely not for you. Also, go watch Lethal Weapon. It’s amazing. There is no reason to blindly chase anyone down a trail, especially if they are twice as young as you. Do you know why? Because that person is usually either a professional, a reckless teenager or a lunatic with no sense of self-preservation.
Either way, unlike them, you have responsibilities to others. Even if you don’t have a child waiting for you at home, you have bills to pay, jobs to do, and a spine that doesn’t regenerate like Wolverine’s. Following someone down a trail without knowing their skill level or line choice is a shortcut to panic braking and a not-so-pleasurable ambulance ride. What they clear effortlessly, you might hit at the wrong speed, the wrong angle, and with all the elegance of a bowling pin after a direct hit from the ball.
Ride at your pace. Follow people you trust. And for the love of everything sacred, don’t just assume that because Dave did it, you can too.
Riding without a proper warm-up
Skipping a warm-up in your 20s meant a slightly rough first five minutes. Skipping a warm-up in your 40s means a potential mid-ride existential crisis about why your hamstrings feel like steel cables and your lower back is staging a mutiny.
Your muscles, tendons, and joints do not appreciate being thrown into full-power mode without a little preparation. Cold muscles are stiff muscles. Stiff muscles are one awkward pedal stroke away from a pulled groin that’ll keep you off the bike for weeks. So, help your blood get where it needs to go instead of where you don’t want to see it. A good warm-up will increase blood flow and flexibility and reduce injury risks.
Riding DH without armour
Your younger self could ride downhill in a T-shirt and shorts, crashing gloriously and walking away with a few scrapes. But that version of you didn’t wake up feeling sore from sleeping in the wrong position.
Your bones and ligaments are no longer under warranty. Protect them. A proper helmet, knee pads, and elbow guards are not signs of weakness – they are the reason you’ll be able to keep riding instead of explaining to your coworkers why you’re in a cast again. Falling is not an if; it’s a when. And when it happens, you want as much protection as possible between you and the brutal indifference of the earth.
Ride through the pain
Pushing through the pain was a standard back when you were in your early 20s. You could ride 200 km with dull knee pain without sweating too much about it. Now, you should know better. Pain is there for a reason, and the reason is never anything good. If the pain doesn’t go away after you warm up, it’s much wiser to quit. Otherwise, you risk turning a minor strain into something that can cause you to miss the entire season.
Pain is not weakness leaving the body – it is your body waving a giant red flag, warning you that something is about to snap, seize or refuse to function. Ignoring it is not courage; it’s denial with consequences. The worst thing is that at this age, some injuries can last for a lifetime. So, be careful when choosing your battles against your body.
Professional athletes have teams of specialists monitoring their recovery. You have Google and ChatGPT. So, listen to your body. If the pain is persistent, it’s best to quit while you can still return another day. Most importantly, address the potential injury before it becomes a permanent reminder of that particular ride.
Disregarding proper recovery
Once, you could destroy your legs on a brutal ride and bounce back with a beer and a good night’s sleep. Now, if you skip proper recovery, your legs will stop speaking to you for days. Active recovery, stretching, proper hydration, and actual nutrition aren’t just “things pros do.” They are the only reason you’ll be able to ride again tomorrow without feeling like you’ve been hit by a truck.
Take recovery seriously because the alternative is hobbling around like an 80-year-old after every ride and making weird grunting noises when you try to get out of a chair. And yes, you can have a beer or two after the ride. Not everything you did as a 20-year-old should stay in the past.
Taking it slow is not a defeat
The Murtaugh List isn’t about admitting defeat – it’s about accepting reality. Riding smart means riding longer. It means fewer injuries, better performance, and still being able to do what you love without requiring a dedicated medical team to put you back together afterwards. And if you still want to beat that Strava record, you won’t do it by being crazy. You’ll do it with persistence and determination.
So, leave the reckless riding for the young. They will find soon enough that no matter how fast they’re raiding, time will always catch them.
