• Country

17 Suspicious Things Cyclists Do Normal People Don’t

By Adam Marsal

Spending hours on a bicycle every day might lead to irreversible changes in human brains. Watch out for the tell-tale signs that some of your friends are addicted to cycling.

They have half of their lifetime memories recorded on the Strava app.

They know about each pothole in the city.

They never use the elevator, no matter how many floors the building has.

They have a heart rate of 50 beats per minute while still managing to look alive.

They use both the attic and the cellar as bicycle storage.

Rather than in words, their bicycle trips are mostly described in watts.


Their bikes might be about double the price of your car.

When their muscles feel tired at the end of the day, they go out to cycle some 50 – 60 km just to make their legs relaxed.

They can drink ten cups of ristretto per day without ending in the coronary care unit.

Speaking of titanium, carbon fibre, derailleurs, chainstays, and seat heights can make them forget that all listeners have left half the lecture ago.

When buying a new car, they always estimate how long it would take to get the bike into the trunk.

They actually know what’s going on while watching Tour de France on TV.


They’re OK with staring at their mate’s bum in tight spandex for hours without questioning their sexuality.

For Christmas, birthdays or Valentine’s, they only get gifts somehow related to cycling.

They can tell you from the top of their minds what’s the calorie count for different sorts of food.

Even at a pub, they sit in a way to pose minimum air resistance.

Their average body weight doesn’t exceed 50 kilograms – including their bike.