But now you face the ultimate challenge: convincing your partner—who, bless them, came along for “a chill ride and maybe some cake”—to take 14 near-identical bike photos of you, without them filing for divorce or threatening to ride home alone.
Here’s how to get that perfect Partner Pic and keep your relationship (mostly) intact.
1. The pep talk (aka strategic flattery)
Start strong:
“Babe, you have such a good eye for angles.”
“You just get the lighting better than anyone.”
“You’re basically the Annie Leibovitz of road cycling.”
Do not, under any circumstance, say:
“Just stand there and press the button, how hard can it be?”
This is how bike frames get thrown.
2. Pre-photo briefing: manage expectations
Inform them gently:
“It’ll only take like five minutes.”
It will absolutely take 25, but this is not the time for truth.
3. The setup: you vs. nature
Make sure the background is scenic enough to justify the drama. A winding road, a sunflower field, an alpaca staring directly at camera—whatever adds artistic legitimacy to your narcissism.
Avoid: bins, portable toilets, and that weird guy doing squats in cycling bibs.
4. Live directing: a delicate balance
Guide your partner like a seasoned pro:
“Okay, can you go lower?”
“Now tilt it a bit. No, the other bit.”
“Can you make it look less… like I’m dying inside?”
Say this with a smile. Possibly while handing them snacks.
5. Take breaks (for their sanity)
Let them take a few “silly ones” just to keep morale up. Bonus points if you actually post one of those instead. Partners love when they feel like collaborators instead of underpaid interns.
6. Gratitude goes a long way
Once you have the perfect shot—your quads gleaming, your jersey unstretched, your expression effortlessly heroic—thank your partner.
Profusely.
Repeatedly.
Possibly with cake.
7. Post it. Tag them. Praise them.
Caption: “Shoutout to the best partner and the world’s most patient photographer 💛🚴♂️📸”
Let the world know they stood in a ditch for 12 minutes while you adjusted your sock height.
8. The “them pic”: be ready to return the favour
They will ask. Be prepared to lie down on gravel for their artsy handlebar close-up. It’s only fair.
Relationship tip: if you took 47 shots of yourself, don’t give up after two blurry ones of them. Do better. Love is about symmetry—and so is Instagram.
In conclusion: it’s not just a photo
It’s a memory. It’s teamwork. It’s a test of patience, both on and off the saddle.
And sure, maybe you yelled “WAIT THE SUN’S IN MY EYES” a little too loudly in front of strangers. But in the end, it was all worth it for that one glorious, perfectly filtered moment of you… and your bike… looking unstoppable.
Because nothing says “true love” like holding someone’s sunglasses while they re-do their smile for the fifth time.
