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Banana Holder

If you’re riding hard, you need to refuel, and bananas provide immediate energy boosts – but they also tend to get smushed in your jersey pockets. The solution to the problem? The Banana Holder available from Etsy. The banana lover in your life will be happy with this leather banana hammock swinging between his legs.

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The Stemie

You’ve won the cycling club’s senior sprint, unclipped your cleats, and done a little celebratory wiggle as you brake hard to dismount. Oops – you overcooked the braking and your vulnerable danglies slam into your Specialized’s stem. You instantly regret not investing in a Stemie. Protecting your delicates from inevitable stem collision is no laughing matter.

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Ivation BIKE-BEAKON speaker

How many times have you passed your commute-nemesis, only to wish you could do so to the sound of Wagner’s Ride of the Valkyries? Well look no further – the Ivation packs enough punch that the ominous Wagnerian tones will reach the competition long before you’re on their wheel.

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For those of you who think that’s not a particularly bizarre gadget – it also features a light and a siren. For emergencies… obviously…

Travel Trac Book Caddy

Isn’t it annoying when you’re reading the Beano Annual, but you know you have to get a 50-mile training ride in? Then this is the gadget for you. The Travel Trac allows you to keep chortling at Billy Whizz’s inspirational adventures as you speed up a Cat 1 climb.

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Drybike

You look like an idiot cycling in the rain, so I’m sure that, like me, you take an umbrella along for the ride – but it’s difficult to hold the umbrella when you’re cycling, making it difficult to turn the pages of the book you’re reading on the Travel Trac Book Caddy.

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The Drybike is a clever device that attaches your umbrella to your handlebar, freeing your other hand to reach for your banana hammock.

Parrot Bebop Drone

You get the feeling that Trevor from your cycle club has been spreading rumours about you using a motorbike to earn your KOM segments on Strava. The only way you can prove you earned them legitimately is filming your ride using the Parrot Bebop GPS tracking drone.

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Trevor will soon shut up when he sees you earn a KOM, eating a banana and reading a book, as Kraftwerk’s Tour de France blasts from your Ivation.