Welcome to The Art of the Bike Selfie, where vanity meets velocity, and your Lycra-clad glory is immortalised one awkward arm extension at a time. Whether you’re a weekend warrior, a coffee ride enthusiast, or that one guy who brings his aero helmet to brunch, this guide will help you capture your two-wheeled greatness with pride (and just a hint of delusion).
1. Know your angles (and ankles)
Want to look fast even when you’re parked next to a bakery? Tilt your phone slightly upwards—it elongates the legs, slims the face, and subtly says “I definitely didn’t just spend 20 minutes lying in the grass wondering why I ride bikes for fun.”
Bonus tip: never shoot from below unless you’re specifically going for “double chin meets undercarriage.”
2. Helmet hair, don’t care (but actually, kinda do)
Let’s be real: helmet hair is the price we pay for safety—and also the reason most cycling selfies are taken with the helmet still on.
Pro tip: if you must go helmet-free for that windswept shot, make sure there’s a solid breeze and at least one cow in the background to imply rural sophistication. Cow = vibes.
3. Lighting is everything
Golden hour is your best friend. Morning sun says “disciplined and motivated,” while evening sun says “I was lost for three hours and ate my last energy gel in tears.”
Avoid harsh midday light unless you enjoy looking like a radioactive lobster who just cycled through a nuclear plant.
4. The classic bike lean
Find a picturesque wall or fence, lean your bike just right, step back, snap. Voilà.
BUT—if you lean it on the wrong side (drive side to the wall)… congratulations, you’ve just summoned five angry bike nerds from the internet to correct your life choices. You may also feel a sudden urge to adjust your saddle height. This is normal.
5. Mid-ride selfies: a dangerous artform
Taking a selfie while moving is an elite skill, best left to those who’ve already made peace with the concept of road rash. If you must attempt it:
- Check for traffic.
- Keep one hand on the bars.
- Prepare to explain to strangers why you were grinning at your phone moments before falling into a ditch.
6. The coffee shot: Vital. Sacred. Required.
You + bike + flat white = social media gold. Just remember: never let the foam art go cold while you frame the perfect shot. That’s how latte-based tragedies happen.
7. Hashtags to live by
#NewBikeDay
#IfYouDidntStravaItItDidntHappen
#SufferFestButMakeItFashion
#HelmetHairDontCare
#ChafingButChic
8. Final thought: own your lycra
Cycling selfies aren’t about vanity—they’re about commemorating the beautiful, absurd, sweaty journey that is cycling. If you’re going to rock skin-tight neon and a thousand-yard stare, do it with pride.
Because out there, on that winding road, beneath those questionable sunglasses… you are glorious.
Even if it took 27 tries to get the perfect shot.
