While the rest of the world is preparing to declutter their home in an ancient ritual fuelled by pure consumerism, you must tend to a tradition of your own: The Cyclist Spring Cleaning. Spring cleaning isn’t just for closets and kitchens. For cyclists, it’s a sacred (and slightly traumatic) rite of passage. A time to clean, purge, replace, and confront the horrifying reality of just how gross everything has become. So, put down the duster, grab a degreaser, and let’s go.
The bike
Even if you put your bike away nice and clean, if you didn’t use it over the winter, it certainly needs a bit of refreshing. The good news is that it doesn’t look as if it’s been to a war. The bad news is that it still needs a bit of resurrection.
So, start by giving it a good wash. And I mean a proper one—not the ceremonial splash of water you throw at it after a ride so you can tell yourself you “cleaned it”. No, this is full decontamination mode. Drag it out of whatever dungeon it’s been sulking in all winter, and start scrubbing. You’ll rediscover colours you forgot it had. If it’s been a while, you might also find things growing on it. Don’t panic. That’s just nature trying to reclaim your drivetrain.
Speaking of drivetrains—yours is probably caked in a thick, sticky stew of last year’s chain lube, trail dust, and a few misguided spiders, thinking that’s their honeymoon suite. Time to strip it down. Degrease everything like you’re cleaning up a crime scene. Chain, cassette, chainrings—no mercy. If your chain makes a grinding noise when you backpedal, that’s not “character”. It’s corrosion whispering sweet nothings to your derailleur. Once everything’s gleaming, lube it up like… well, you know, so that your drivetrain doesn’t scream when shifting.
Then there are the brakes. Or, if you’ve ignored them all winter, let’s talk about the thing that barely prevents you from ploughing into pedestrians. Inspect your pads. If they’re worn down to nothing, replace them. If they squeal like a haunted violin, sort it.
Don’t forget the tyres. You know. Those rubber things you haven’t looked at since October. If the tread has disappeared and the sidewalls look like they’ve been through a sandblaster, it’s time for new ones. Also, they need actual air. Go ahead and inflate them past “squishy pancake”. It’ll feel weird at first. That’s because it’s right.
While you’re at it, spin everything that’s meant to spin. Cranks, wheels, your soul. If anything feels gritty, sounds like sandpaper or refuses to move without protest, congratulations—you’ve got bearing problems. So, either break out the grease or prepare to bribe your mechanic.
Finally, don’t forget the little things. Check every bolt, every clamp, every tiny screw that holds your fragile existence together at 50 km/h. Things come loose over winter. Physically, emotionally, and mechanically. Tighten them. Respect them. You don’t want to learn what happens if something lets loose during a high-speed downhill.
Once everything’s clean, tight, and turning like it belongs in a pro tour—step back and admire it. Go ahead, take a photo. Maybe two. Post it if you must. No one will care except the other six lunatics in your club who also washed their bikes today and are waiting for an excuse to flex their chainring reflection. But that’s fine. You’ve earned it. But if you think you’re done, you’re in for a surprise. The bike was just the beginning.
The gear
Now, while you may have ridden your bike over the winter—braving frozen fingers, salty roads, and the strange sideways rain that only exists in February—there are a few things you most certainly didn’t use. Namely, your spring and summer kit. Jerseys, bibs, socks, and gloves have been hibernating in a drawer or kit bag, neatly tucked away since the last warm-weather ride of the year. And while you absolutely didn’t put them away dirty and sweaty (because you’re a civilised human being), it’s still worth giving everything a quick spin in the washing machine—just to freshen things up and chase out any lingering musty drawer vibes.
This is also a great time to inspect your gear, not just wash it. Take ten minutes to check over your bib shorts. Give the chamois a once-over—is the padding still supportive? Is the fabric holding its stretch or has it crossed the line into see-through territory? If they’re still comfy and functional, you’re good. If you’ve noticed they’re starting to feel a bit thin on longer rides, maybe it’s time to rotate them into indoor-training-only status and treat yourself to a fresh pair for the outdoor season.
The same goes for your jerseys. Hold them up to the light—literally. If you can see the window through the back panel, that’s not “ventilation”, that’s a warning. Check zippers, seams, and pockets too. A stuck zipper halfway up a climb is a uniquely painful way to suffer.
Your socks—well, they’ve probably been patiently waiting in the back of a drawer like loyal foot soldiers. Give them a check for holes, sagging cuffs or any stiff spots that survived the laundry cycle. Spring is a good excuse to restock your rotation. Fresh socks are cheap, effective morale boosters, and nothing says “I’ve got my act together” like a matching pair that doesn’t smell like last summer.
Now, to the gloves. These often get overlooked because they’re so small and seemingly indestructible. But they take a beating. Make sure the padding hasn’t gone flat and that the seams are intact. If you ride with fingerless gloves, test the grip on the palm—smooth Lycra and sweaty hands don’t mix. And yes, even if they “seem fine”, give them a wash. The bacteria count doesn’t lie.
Finally, it’s helmet time. Check the manufacturing date (most helmets are only good for 3–5 years), and inspect the shell and foam for hairline cracks or dents. You may not have crashed last year (nice work), but UV exposure and sweat can degrade materials over time. A clean helmet with working vents and an odour level under “noticeable” is the baseline for spring readiness.
Don’t forget to go through your accessories, too: caps, buffs, arm warmers, and shoe covers. It’s a good time to reorganise everything. Group by season, toss anything past its prime and figure out what’s missing. That one arm warmer you could’ve sworn you had? Still missing. Still a mystery.
This kind of pre-season check not only gets your gear ready—it saves you the stress of discovering mid-ride that your jersey zipper is broken or your shorts have betrayed you on the café bench. Think of it as maintenance for morale. Your bike is clean. Your gear is sorted. And you’re looking dangerously like someone who’s got their act together.
There’s one final touch.
Accessories and tech
You’ve cleaned the bike and sorted the kit, but don’t stop now. It’s time for the little things—the accessories and tech that quietly ruin your ride when neglected.
First up: your saddle bag. Open it. Actually, look inside. Is there a tube with five patches on it? A CO₂ canister that’s definitely empty? An energy bar that predates your current bike? Yeah, swap those out. Repack it with fresh essentials, not relics. Water bottles? Give them a sniff test. If they fail, retire them. Mouldy citrus is not a performance enhancer.
Now, onto the tech. Charge everything: GPS, lights, power meter, your soul again. Update firmware while you’re at it—because no one wants to deal with a mid-ride software tantrum. Sync your sensors, test your heart rate monitor, and check your mounts. Your bike computer still thinks you’re in Mallorca? Reboot it—unless you’re in Mallorca. Then it’s probably fine.
Then, it’s time for a test run. If your head unit beeps every time you go uphill but call it “flat”, it’s probably time for a calibration. Or exorcism. But most probably a calibration.
The point is that these details make or break your rides. Treat them with the same love you give your bike.
Ride into spring like you mean it
You’ve cleaned your bike. You’ve sorted your kit. You’ve checked your tech and tossed out the tube that’s older than your cycling shoes. You’re ready—not just to ride, but to enjoy it. Because nothing kills early-season vibes faster than a grimy drivetrain, a dead GPS or a bib shorts blowout at the café stop. So, enjoy the fruits of your labour, and don’t forget to include your almost brand-new bike in the Instagram pics.
