While your thighs look like borrowed from Arnold Schwarzenegger, your upper body shows you’ve hardly ever lifted anything heavier than a cup of double espresso.
For better orientation in the gym, you use a GPS map downloaded to your smartphone.
Apparently, you’re the only one wearing a close-fitting sports kit without feeling embarrassed.
Before the training, you spend about four and a half hours warming up on an exercise bike.
You’re never out of breath.
Right after finishing the third banana, you start fishing for some muesli bars in your bottomless rear pockets.
Your limbs look like stencilled with brown colour.
It’s almost impossible to arrange an indoor training session with you in summer.
When lifting the bar on a bench press, you keep trying to find the perfect grip on your “handlebars”.
You smell of suntan lotion.
Finding a proper position on an exercise machine can take you a couple of months.
During an hour of workout, you’re able to take on and off your sweatshirt up to ten times.
When choosing an exercise machine in the gym, you prefer those standing downwind.
In case the gym gets overheated, you use a water bidon to cool down your head.
Right after the workout, you discreetly leave the facilities in order to urinate unobserved at home.