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How to Recognize a Keen Road Cyclist in the Crowd

By Adam Marsal

Watch out for these signs that will tell you that your new account manager is an avid road cyclist.

1. He looks like a jockey, but doesn’t have the faintest idea about horses.

2. Every other week, she survives a near-death experience with a lorry.

3. He’s happy to eat pretty much anything as long as it contains some pasta, a banana or a combination of both.

4. You can bet he can get up from the ground and carry on doing whatever his boss tells him to do despite having a scraped elbow, swollen eye and broken ribs.

5. Her resting heart rate is similar to that of a dead person.

6. He’s absolutely OK with being home alone, standing in front of a mirror dressed in close-fitting clothes.

Road cyclist
Can you recognize a road cyclist in a crowd?

7. Instead of cogwheels and food, she says cassette and nutrition, and knows what those mean.

8. Despite his firm decision to avoid talking about cycling, he attempts to explain the latest stage of Tour de France news to the attenders of a barbecue party who are watching a football match.

9. Even her latest spurt to the restroom is kind of a challenge.

10. Strange-looking metal racks are permanently attached to either the roof or rear part of her car.

11. Unlike your average man, he can distinguish 50 shades of carbon (fibre).

12. The tan lines on his arms and thighs are so prominent it seems he miraculously survived a scary atomic bomb test.