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The most bizarre cycling Christmas gifts of this year

By Martin Winter

Christmas is almost upon us so you should be all set with the presents. But let’s face it – you’re not. And that’s why we bring you so desperately needed inspiration with these 8 bizarre items.

Bike Pizza Cutter

Want to let your pizza know you’ll burn all of its calories later? Fixie Pizza Cutter is the way. Bizarre but kind of amazing, right?

Buy on: (http://www.uncommongoods.com/product/fixie-pizza-cutter)

Bike Porn

Ever heard of porn? Neither have we…. But if it looks anything like this book, we are going to watch it 24/7. Chris Naylor’s publication is 120 pages long and filled with bikes straight out of your wildest dreams. There are also quotes from the likes of Mark Cavendish and even Napoleon Bonaparte, so you can pick some inspiration as you drool along.

Sign us up for this porn thing!

Buy on: (http://www.thepresentfinder.co.uk/buy/bike-porn-book_1236.htm)

Well, Hello Kitty!

Want to look tough in front of your mates? Forget your Cannondales, Giants and Scotts. Rock this Hello Kitty Girls’ bike and you shall be known as the Chief Cahones all across your peloton! Right? How else this could end…

Buy on: (http://www.walmart.com/ip/16-Hello-Kitty-Girls-Bike/36918900)

Don’t Drink and Ride!

Bicycles and alcohol don’t mix! Anyone with a bit of responsibility will tell you that, but you can prove them wrong now. With this wine bottle holder anyone is able to enjoy bikes and alcohol at the same time.

Buy on: (http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00A8UP4OE/?tag=dodoburd-20)

Bicycle Chain Ring Cufflinks

Designed for that special occasion, when you really want your wife to hate you. It doesn’t matter if it’s the opera, school reunion or dinner at her parent’s house. A pair of cufflinks like these? Everyone will notice. And you won’t be hearing words „class“ or „dignity“ very often.

You still kind of want them though, don’t you?

Buy on: (http://www.uncommongoods.com/product/bicycle-chain-ring-cufflinks)

Upcycled Bicycle Link Dream Catcher

Feeling a little Native American inside? Ever rocked a mohawk? Well…this is the dream come true (and peaceful) for you!

Buy on: (http://www.uncommongoods.com/product/upcycled-bicycle-link-dream-catcher)

Your very own cocoon

Think you tried everything to keep calm before the races? Music, meditation, even sex? And nothing seems to do the trick? Well you haven’t tried looking like a weird lovechild of The Stig from Top Gear and an Olympic fencer, have you? Yeah, we thought so. But maybe you should, because the specially designed Baker Miller Pink Hoodie is supposed to relax you both before and after the race. It experiments with colour theory and ought to reduce your heart rate, slow your breathing and even limit your oxygen consumption.

Buy on: (http://www.vollebak.com/products/baker-miller-pink-hoodie)

Bicycle Wheel Chalkboard Calendar

Bit short on cash? DIY gifts are the best anyway! Put in the extra effort and create this amazing bicycle calendar. All you need is (crafting skills) an old bike wheel, bit of plywood, hot glue, chalkboard paint and sticker labels. Follow these instructions and send us photos of your creation!