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15 Things You Shouldn’t Say at Cycle Speed Dating

By Adam Marsal

Cycle speed dating is a phenomenon. Not only in the UK but also in other European countries. There are more and more events arranged so cyclists can find true love. Is it any good or just a gimmick?

In this article you will learn:

– What is speed dating for cyclists (you probably have a clue)
– Whether you actually sit on a bike during the romantic dinner
15 things not to say while on a cycle speed date

So you’ve finally accepted the fact that beautiful and interesting women who can stand your constant bragging about your cycling performance are not going to somehow magically approach you at the grocery store (unless you are George Clooney). Or for our less bearded readers – the handsome serviceman in the workshop next door hesitates to ask you for a date for almost two years. Speed dating may change you life – if you believe in miracles.

Entrance is up to twenty pounds. You pay less if you reserve your seat in advance. So what do you get for your money? An opportunity to meet like-minded people with the same or similar interests. It’s all about men and women who love cycling. Sounds great, right?

But what’s the truth? First disappointment for someone: the dating is not on the bikes. It’s taking places in similar venues like another speed dating events. So usually it’s much more about dating than cycling. The advantage is that you’re rather to meet a person who really likes the same thing you do. On the other hand, the fact that you both love cycling won’t save you from the awkward moments at all.

But one never knows so if you are going to attend such an event (which can be genuine fun at least to try), there are few things you should avoid talking about.

15 things you shouldn’t say at cycle speed dating

  1. Sorry for the sweat, I was pedaling hard for 40 minutes to catch the event. Do you smell that?
  2. I only cycle because of the lycra.
  3. Tour of what? You mean the 24 hour event in Le Mans?
  4. I bet you are in really good shape. How much do you weigh? How much does your bike weigh? Is it carbon?
  5. I didn’t like my last visit to Amsterdam. There were too many dangerous cyclists rushing all around.
  6. Can you blow your nose like a real cyclist?
  7. I’m annoyed at the gas prices. How can I feed my SUV now?
  8. Look at the guy with hairy legs! I totally shave my legs everyday.
  9. It’s horrible how much money this city has spent on building cycle roads last year.
  10. Is there a place for smokers?
  11. Did you hear that? Spending 2000 euros on bike? You can have a decent 2nd hand car for that kind of cash!
  12. I only ride Strava segments.
  13. I’m probably infertile because of my saddle.
  14. Did you hear about the cyclist who used viagra eye drops? They made him look hard!
  15. Does it hurt down there if you spend a day in the saddle?