{"id":202064,"date":"2025-09-11T14:07:11","date_gmt":"2025-09-11T14:07:11","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.welovecycling.com\/wide\/?p=202064"},"modified":"2025-09-11T14:07:11","modified_gmt":"2025-09-11T14:07:11","slug":"opinion-holiday-cycling-photos-that-should-be-illegal","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.welovecycling.com\/wide\/2025\/09\/11\/opinion-holiday-cycling-photos-that-should-be-illegal\/","title":{"rendered":"Opinion: Holiday Cycling Photos That Should Be Illegal"},"content":{"rendered":"

Why can’t cyclists do tourism like normal people? We must bring our bikes into it. Every single landmark, beach, vineyard, and airport lounge becomes a backdrop for what can only be described as a crime against tourism. I mean, if you didn’t lug your carbon frame halfway across Europe just to hold it up in front of the Colosseum like a sacrificial offering to the gods of Strava\u2026 have you really been in Rome? Not likely.<\/strong><\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

Now, don’t get me wrong. There are plenty of pictures that are perfectly normal and fine to take. A quiet road through Tuscany, a coastal climb in Mallorca, a high summit effort in the French Alps. Sure, not too original, but not bothering anyone as well. But then there are those photos that seem to aim to irritate every single one who shares the same tourist attraction with you. These are the holiday cycling photos, so frustrating, so absurd, they should be outlawed under international law.<\/p>\n

So, in the interest of public safety (and my own blood pressure), here are five vacation cycling photos that should be banned immediately.<\/p>\n

Lifting your bike in front of a tourist attraction<\/strong><\/h2>\n

What better way to commemorate your visit to France, Rome, London or literally anywhere else than by hoisting your bike in the air and making sure two-thirds of the landmark is hidden behind your dirty tyres? Truly inspiring. Nothing screams \u201ccity of love\u201d quite like reducing the Eiffel Tower to a couple of bent beams poking out from behind your rear wheel.<\/p>\n

Lifting your bike serves absolutely no purpose here (except maybe irritating everyone else around you).<\/p>\n

Holding your bike aloft is supposed to celebrate an achievement \u2013 conquering a brutal climb, breaking a personal record, maybe even winning a Grand Tour. Flying your bike halfway across the world (or worse, renting one with squeaky brakes) is not an achievement. It’s a financial decision. So come down a notch. Meanwhile, while you wobble around like a drunk weightlifter on cobblestones, the other tourists aren’t charmed. It seems they don’t appreciate the new fashion statement you so generously bestowed on them \u2013 wearing your tyre marks across their clothes. Ungrateful peasants.<\/p>\n

Now, here’s a radical idea: What if you’re not a self-obsessed jackass? What if you actually decide to commemorate your visit to that beautiful city by, let’s say, placing the landmark front and centre? In full view. Now, you can even join this architectural, historical, and cultural marvel and actually show you’ve been there yourself. And if you want to show you’re with a bike, just casually lean on it. That single image tells a whole story: I was here, I had my bike, and I didn’t ruin anyone’s day.<\/p>\n

\"Cyclists<\/a>
There are plenty of pictures that are perfectly normal and fine to take, such as quiet road through Tuscany. \u00a9 Profimedia<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

The landmark lean<\/strong><\/h2>\n

And while we\u2019re on the subject of being self-obsessed and trying to overshadow the very thing you actually came to see, let\u2019s talk about the landmark lean. Yes, nothing elevates world-famous architecture quite like propping your filthy bike against it, as if the Colosseum has been waiting two millennia just to serve as your personal bike rack.<\/p>\n

Shockingly, you’re not the first to think of such a \u201cbrilliant\u201d way to commemorate your visit to a particular landmark. Millions have done it. And unless you\u2019ve managed to position it perfectly so the bike looks like it actually crashed into the tower of Pisa, you might as well just download a picture from Google. There are millions of them, and all are much better than yours. OK, not all, maybe around 75%.<\/p>\n

Also, let’s not forget that your pride and joy just can’t win when competing with a priceless heritage. It devalues your bike and makes it look ordinary. Your bike should radiate glory, and it does when you’re riding it. Not when it’s leaning against a wall. If you want to take a picture of your bike with a landmark, that’s fine. But be with it. Compliment the landmark with your presence. Add some artistry. Most importantly, join your bike. You know the old saying from Full Metal Jacket: \u201cWithout me, my bike is useless. Without my bike, I’m useless.\u201d Or was it something other than a bike? Don’t really care enough to remember.<\/p>\n

The rental bike lineup<\/strong><\/h2>\n

You rented a bike, you didn\u2019t win a Grand Tour. So maybe don\u2019t block the entire street like you\u2019re parading down the Champs-\u00c9lys\u00e9es. The only thing you\u2019re winning is several dozen curse words per second from every pedestrian, driver, and cyclist forced to share space with you. And for what? A photo of five identical, questionably maintained bikes that are not even yours. What exactly are you celebrating? Friendship? Yeah, no one’s getting it.<\/p>\n

All you\u2019ve really done is prove to the world that you and your mates are capable of both clogging traffic and producing the most forgettable holiday photo in existence. Congratulations, you\u2019re a nuisance and a clich\u00e9. And that’s all this photo is showing.<\/p>\n

If you desperately need the shot, fine \u2013 but do the rest of us a favour and take it somewhere that isn\u2019t vital urban infrastructure. A quiet corner, a back alley, your hotel car park. That way, you still get your souvenir, and the rest of us get to keep our will to live.<\/p>\n

Bike in the sea<\/strong><\/h2>\n

That\u2019s\u2026 I\u2026 What\u2026 Are you insane? Putting your bike in the sea isn\u2019t a photo, it\u2019s a cry for help. Salt water doesn\u2019t just \u201cwash over\u201d components. It destroys them. Drivetrain, lube, bearings, cables\u2026 gone. Congratulations, you\u2019ve just turned a precision machine into a very expensive pile of rust. Shimano engineers probably wake up in cold sweats because of people like you.<\/p>\n

And for what? A shot of your bike half-buried in sand while waves crash over it? Newsflash: you\u2019re not Poseidon, and your bike isn\u2019t a prop for a surf commercial. It\u2019s an act of mechanical cruelty, like leaving your goldfish in the oven \u201cfor a cool photo\u201d. Here\u2019s a thought: if you want to remember the beach, take a photo of\u2026 the beach. You can even stand next to your bike on solid ground, smile, and live to ride another day. That way, the only thing corroded is your sense of humour.<\/p>\n

The airport unboxing video<\/strong><\/h2>\n

There\u2019s nothing wrong with this photo. It\u2019s just the cycling equivalent of watching paint dry or staring at an office printer doing its job. Technically, it\u2019s happening right in front of you, but nobody actually wants to look at it.<\/p>\n

Unboxing and assembling your bike at the airport isn\u2019t an event worth documenting. It\u2019s not a victory, it\u2019s not an adventure, it\u2019s not even mildly entertaining. It\u2019s you crouched on the floor next to an oversized cardboard coffin, looking like you\u2019ve lost a very specific game of Jenga. And yet somehow, you think the world is waiting for a photo carousel of your pedals, your tools, and your half-built bike surrounded by annoyed passengers dragging suitcases.<\/p>\n

Sure, you\u2019re excited to be reunited with your bike after the flight. But please understand: for everyone else, it\u2019s the least inspiring holiday content imaginable. Nobody\u2019s double-tapping this. At best, they\u2019re scrolling past it. At worst, they\u2019re wondering if they should call airport security.<\/p>\n

Just take the damn photo like a normal person<\/strong><\/h2>\n

Cycling holidays are amazing. You get to explore new places, ride roads you\u2019ve only seen on TV, and stuff your face with local pastries under the excuse of \u201cfuelling\u201d. But for the love of your deity of choice, stop ruining it with these abominations of photography. Nobody needs to see your bike blocking world landmarks, drowning in saltwater or half-assembled at Gate 27. Nobody asked for your rental-bike Tour de France<\/a> reenactment, and nobody\u2019s impressed by your victory pose in front of the Eiffel Tower.<\/p>\n

If you really want a cycling holiday photo that works, it\u2019s not complicated: landmark in full view, you and your bike together. That way, you\u2019ll still have a memory, and the rest of us won\u2019t be left with tyre marks, blocked roads or have to endure countless pointless photos only you think are precious memories.<\/p>\n

Because at the end of the day, you\u2019re not conquering Europe. You\u2019re just a cyclist on holiday. Act like it.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

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