{"id":162615,"date":"2017-12-08T13:05:35","date_gmt":"2017-12-08T13:05:35","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.welovecycling.com\/wide\/?p=162615"},"modified":"2017-12-08T13:05:35","modified_gmt":"2017-12-08T13:05:35","slug":"things-shouldnt-buy-youre-getting-christmas-present-cyclist","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.welovecycling.com\/wide\/2017\/12\/08\/things-shouldnt-buy-youre-getting-christmas-present-cyclist\/","title":{"rendered":"Things You Shouldn\u2019t Buy When You\u2019re Getting a Christmas Present for a Cyclist"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><strong>We\u2019re sailing dangerously close to Christmas, and you haven\u2019t got your cycle-crazy wife, your bike-friendly boss, or dangerous-downhill buddy a gift yet. Slow down, take a breath, and avoid these impulse buys.<\/strong><!--more--><\/p>\n<h2><strong>Stickers for your bike<\/strong><\/h2>\n<p>Decals? Yes. Stickers? No. Adults do not put stickers on their bikes. Bumper stickers are for American rednecks trying to score political points. If a cyclist thought their bike would look better with stickers on it, they<span lang=\"en-US\">\u2019<\/span>d need to buy a better bike. <a href=\"https:\/\/www.bicyclestickers.co.uk\/collections\/motivational-top-tube\/products\/a-wolf-never-loses-hunger-motivational-cycling-decal\">Don\u2019t insult them<\/a>.<\/p>\n<h2><a href=\"https:\/\/d2p6e6u75xmxt8.cloudfront.net\/2\/2017\/12\/024.jpeg\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignnone size-full wp-image-162617\" src=\"https:\/\/d2p6e6u75xmxt8.cloudfront.net\/2\/2017\/12\/024.jpeg\" alt=\"\" width=\"1000\" height=\"1000\" \/><\/a><\/h2>\n<h2><strong>That Marmite Jersey<\/strong><\/h2>\n<p>Thanks. <a href=\"https:\/\/www.foska.com\/marmite-road-cycling-jersey.html\">You\u2019re hilarious<\/a>. I\u2019ll add it to my collection of novelty jerseys my friends and family buy me. I\u2019ll probably end up wearing it because, of course, I save my good jerseys for the perfect cycling day. Every time I wear it, I\u2019ll resent you a little bit more. Annoyingly \u2013 you\u2019ll probably think I love it and buy me the <a href=\"https:\/\/www.foska.com\/colmans-road-cycling-jersey.html\">Colman\u2019s Mustard<\/a> jersey next year.<\/p>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/d2p6e6u75xmxt8.cloudfront.net\/2\/2017\/12\/RJ_HATEJAMS_4M_FR.jpg\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignnone size-full wp-image-162618\" src=\"https:\/\/d2p6e6u75xmxt8.cloudfront.net\/2\/2017\/12\/RJ_HATEJAMS_4M_FR.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"1002\" height=\"1291\" \/><\/a><\/p>\n<h2><strong>Novelty horns<\/strong><\/h2>\n<p>It\u2019s bad enough buying a novelty bike bell for a cyclist, but a <a href=\"https:\/\/www.notonthehighstreet.com\/poshtottydesignsinteriors\/product\/vintage-style-bicycle-horn\">novelty horn<\/a>? No thanks. Not only is it cruel to the cyclist, it\u2019s cruel to anyone unfortunate enough to get in their way. Cyclists work hard to improve their relationship with pedestrians \u2013 don\u2019t make them look like a clown.<\/p>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/d2p6e6u75xmxt8.cloudfront.net\/2\/2017\/12\/original_vintage-style-bicycle-horn.jpg\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignnone size-full wp-image-162619\" src=\"https:\/\/d2p6e6u75xmxt8.cloudfront.net\/2\/2017\/12\/original_vintage-style-bicycle-horn.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"898\" height=\"900\" \/><\/a><\/p>\n<h2><strong>Spokey Dokeys<\/strong><\/h2>\n<p>Unless the cyclist you\u2019re buying for is an LA Street Thug, under the age of 12 \u2013 or both \u2013 it\u2019s unlikely <a href=\"https:\/\/www.amazon.co.uk\/Spokey-Dokeys-Snap-Spoke-Beads\/dp\/B00MOGAEY0\">this gift<\/a> will last longer on the spokes than the 12-hour nostalgia buzz. I\u2019m pretty sure half the Pacific Garbage Patch is made of discarded Spokey Dokeys.<\/p>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/d2p6e6u75xmxt8.cloudfront.net\/2\/2017\/12\/61l23uHw9ML._SL1500_.jpg\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignnone size-full wp-image-162620\" src=\"https:\/\/d2p6e6u75xmxt8.cloudfront.net\/2\/2017\/12\/61l23uHw9ML._SL1500_.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"1500\" height=\"975\" \/><\/a><\/p>\n<h2><strong>Framed World Champion Jersey<\/strong><\/h2>\n<p>What better way to remind dad of when he narrowly missed qualifying for The National Championships, let alone the World Championships. A <a href=\"https:\/\/www.notonthehighstreet.com\/thedesignconspiracy\/product\/personalised-world-champion-cycling-jersey-print\">fake World Champion Jersey<\/a> has to be framed because every other right-thinking cyclist would berate him for wearing colours he\u2019s not earned. Hang it in the toilet where dad can contemplate his failures.<\/p>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/d2p6e6u75xmxt8.cloudfront.net\/2\/2017\/12\/original_personalised-world-champion-cycling-jersey-print.jpg\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignnone size-full wp-image-162621\" src=\"https:\/\/d2p6e6u75xmxt8.cloudfront.net\/2\/2017\/12\/original_personalised-world-champion-cycling-jersey-print.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"1024\" height=\"1024\" \/><\/a><\/p>\n<h2><strong>A bicycle napkin holder<\/strong><\/h2>\n<p>You know that problem every cyclist has? You know\u2026 not knowing where to put their bicycle napkins? No? Well, neither do we. I don\u2019t even know what a bicycle napkin is, let alone why I\u2019d need <a href=\"http:\/\/www.cyclemiles.co.uk\/shop\/ambiente\/ambiente-napkin-holder\/#.Wibpd1Vl-9I\">this ridiculous device<\/a> to store them. If you know what one is, hang your head in shame. Now if only they could figure out a way to neatly store your <a href=\"https:\/\/www.amazon.co.uk\/B%C3%BCrstenmann-Round-Dishwashing-Brush-Set\/dp\/B06XRKF6LL\/ref=pd_lpo_vtph_201_bs_t_1?_encoding=UTF8&amp;psc=1&amp;refRID=2CJKC8ZCGBT5WEEYX12W\">bike cleaning brushes<\/a>\u2026<\/p>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/d2p6e6u75xmxt8.cloudfront.net\/2\/2017\/12\/888448.JPG.jpg\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignnone size-full wp-image-162623\" src=\"https:\/\/d2p6e6u75xmxt8.cloudfront.net\/2\/2017\/12\/888448.JPG.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"658\" height=\"369\" \/><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>We\u2019re sailing dangerously close to Christmas, and you haven\u2019t got your cycle-crazy wife, your bike-friendly boss, or dangerous-downhill buddy a [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":12,"featured_media":162624,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[333,329],"tags":[1450,1451],"global-categories":[],"class_list":["post-162615","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-family","category-road-cycling","tag-christmas-2017","tag-christmas-gifts"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO Premium plugin v25.3 (Yoast SEO v25.9) - 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